Friday, September 7, 2007

Latest definitions of Oxford Dictionary

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Etc . : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.

Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

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